The big day is here. You'd think I'm the one going in for radiation since my stomach is in knots. Al is still sleeping peacefully. I'll hold off on my workout so that I don't wake him. I'm actually anxious to burn off some of this nervous energy. Al looked completely frightened last night. He didn't say much, but I could see it in his face. He said that the back of his neck and upper back are hurting. We both agreed it is probably tension from all of the stress. He poured himself his last glass of wine. No more drinking. No more smoking. Ever again. He said he is trying not to think about what's ahead. He said he isn't too worried about the chemo. It's the radiation that is freaking him out. He was told that it will feel like a really bad sunburn on the inside of his throat. His mouth will get raw and blistered and it will be difficult to swallow. We're both worried about how he will get in all the nutrition he needs. The doctors don't want to give him the feeding tube, even though other patients say it's best to get it before treatment starts, rather than when you are in the middle and already feeling lousy. I'm just hoping that Al will be stubborn enough to force himself to drink through the pain. The nurse said to make sure he gets at least 5 cans of ensure or boost daily if he just cannot eat. Meanwhile, he needs to eat as much as possible while he is still feeling okay. This is a time when that extra weight can really benefit him.