The weekend is almost over and I'm getting knots in my stomach again tonight because it all starts again tomorrow. What's scary is that they say each day will get harder and last week was already pretty bad. It's like you'd think your body would somehow adjust to what they are doing to it or what medication they are pumping into you. That's how most medications work. Doctors often tell us that the side effects wear off in time. But, with cancer it is totally opposite. I see why they call it a fight for life. All the drugs they give you to destroy the cancer can really kill you. That's pretty mind blowing. You know (or Al, in this case) that you are going to be burned by radiation to the point of not being able to swallow. They also tell you that the chemo is like poison in your veins and it is made just for you and your type of cancer. They don't even mix the drugs until you get there. It's not like someone else can take them if you don't. And in Al's case, they were too afraid to give him such huge doses because of his blood disorders. So, they are spreading it out in smaller doses and waiting to see how he reacts. The doctors don't even know because every patient responds differently and every cancer reacts differently. Enough about that. It's all part of the emotional roller coaster. Al seemed to enjoy the weekend and that felt good. You could tell he was just happy not to be feeling lousy.